End and Means

I have written before about being selfish. There is visual interpretation of words which we use. What comes to my mind when I say ‘selfish’ is someone chasing wealth? It is not image, I agree. But, what comes to my mind is person with measured, tailor made talks, behavior in which there is no contradiction and chase of opulence or some sort of gain evident in every action. There is nothing done without visible intention of gaining something out of it and rarely that gain is non-materialistic.
There may be different, polar opposite visuals coming to mind of different persons. There is connotation every word carries. This connotation is made up some average meaning which is present in everybody’s mind, with few exceptions. The connotation for ‘selfish’ is tilted to negative, towards region of characteristics which we do not want to see or we are taught not to see in ‘ideal’ human being. If this ideal human picture is removed, selfishness is what will remain, in different orders. It is not greed or lust for wealth or material comforts that is included in ‘selfish’. It is about motive of every action, be it affecting decision maker directly or indirectly. If we search till the possible roots of our decision making, there remain two motives for our decisions: 1. Survival 2. Pleasure. Pleasure can be termed as satisfaction or fulfillment or anything. But, more or less, it is pleasure. One must be conscious in interpreting this pleasure. I am talking here about all sorts of pleasures, except ‘pleasure of survival’. I take survival essential for pleasure. It can be altruism, patriotic killing, martyrdom, aversion of sorrow or pleasure in avoiding materialistic fulfillment. This might seem intellectual trick, but I think this similarity is what at root. We do anything either for survival and once survival is assured, pleasure is the motive that drives our actions. It makes all of us ‘selfish’. The property of our feelings is that one can feel only one’s own feelings. So every pleasure is for the one who is going to feel it. And, then we are selfish, each and every moment.
This is much on higher ground I talked. What made me to think about this is envy I feel when I watch riches. I tried providing justification to this envy by my initial conditions. But, once I am aware of my certain feelings, I realize that those are not fundamental feelings and I can alter them. Then I tried to see this envy on altruistic grounds. But, it faded soon. Then, I thought that it is what I want to be and I am not able to be. Once I reached this, I was at ease with them. Then, I examined what is really making me envious. It was not their consumptions of luxuries that made me envious. It is exertion of freedom or more precisely, of free will that was making me envious. Whatever way one can criticize wealth; prove it evil, nobody can deny that it makes one able to exercise one’s free will. It might be the case that mostly this free will is used for situations which will yield short term pleasures. But, there is no pint in denying that one can choose pleasures which are more than temporary fulfillment of senses or even seek for intense fulfillment.
Now, arriving at this virtue of wealth, I remember some conversations in past. I owe much to conversations, by the way. Most of my thinking happens as conversation or argument with either myself or somebody else. So, when I used to be involved in some ‘social’ movement, many well-wishers often used to advice me that I should first secure resources for myself and then I should exercise them willingly in whatever way I want. Are they wrong? Are they wrong in some of their premises? I see there is sense in their arguments. But, it is not assets that I am willing to have. It is channels through which I can exercise my free will. It is position which will keep me enough untied, unconstrained and flexible to make use of free will.
Pursuit of wealth is not evil. This is only thing that a free person does. What is evil or sub standard id definition of wealth that one makes for oneself. Many of us end up defining it in terms of visual assets or luxuries. But, I can define it in my positions and abilities to exercise free will, which is end of being wealthy. Marathi saint Tukaram once said:

जोडोनिया धन उत्तम व्यवहारे
उदास विचारे वेच करी

These lines mean wealth should be accumulated with good means. And, it should be spent with disinterest. That actually means what I want to say. It is end of wealth that one should look for, not the mean of wealth accumulation.
Ends and means are not invariably separated as they seem. Use of means has some end every time use is made. They are woven in each other. One who is in process should keep this awareness to see what one is seeing.
All these subtleties and webs of thoughts are instruments I have to see and define this game as clearer as I can. This process of making it clearer, more meaningful and yet remembering that it is going to be incomplete is wonderful. As one poet said,
मी म्हणोनी सोडीला नाद हा मंझीलाचा
चालण्याचे ध्येय आहे अन्य धर्माचार नाही

where I am walking is not of any importance. What I aim is to keep walking on this way, to keep walking on this way.